When writing a blog, I now rely on my relatively new friend ChatGPT.com for general ideas. There is still no way that it can tell the stories with the same raw emotion I often incorporate about my clients as well as my personal life and how they often intersect, but it does give me a jumping off point to expand upon. And, yes, I am aware that my blogs are rather expansive/long in a world that can barely handle reading texts anymore, but I maintain that these blogs are more of a cathartic exercise for me than anything else.
So here it is, Women's History Month, and I really need a cathartic release as the world continues to spin out of control. When I asked my older friend "Google" for a list of songs about female empowerment to use in the title of this blog, Martina McBride's "This One's For The Girls" really resonated with me in the moment. But when I asked my newer friend "Chatty" to tell me how women, in general, are feeling these days in light of the infringement on our rights, I got this response...
So much for being so intelligent AI...sigh...
Anyway, I wrote a blog about Women's History Month in 2021 that outlined not just the actual history of how this month-long celebration came to be but also my thoughts and feelings as a female business owner in what is still a very male-dominated world. I don't want to go back and regurgitate everything from that blog so if you want to read it, by all means, click HERE. I think it is worth the read, but then again, I still love reading so I may be the exception these days.
The purpose of this year's tribute to women?
Well, I am going to start with a story about a client, a very special client.
A few years ago, my team and I helped her declutter her bedroom as things had gotten really out of control during the pandemic with over-purchasing, health issues, and the need to care for her ailing mother. We created the best transformation we possibly could, given the space and the amount of stuff she still wanted to keep, but as is often the case, I left wondering if she could really maintain everything. That isn't a judgment...it is just a concern that I believe every professional organizer has when we walk out the door. We can create the systems to set up our clients for their version of organized success, but leading the proverbial horse to water is always easier than making them actually drink it.
I am not comparing this or any client to horses, nor is sharing my client's story intended to embarrass her in any way. She consented to it because she understands the struggle and wants others to know they are not alone. She also consented to me sharing this screenshot which in and of itself doesn't tell any story but provides an image of her kitchen that she is very proudly maintaining and that just makes me so happy.
Meanwhile, a little over a year later, I got a call from her in somewhat of a panic after her mother had died, she had lost her job and really needed to sell her condo as soon as possible. She wanted to know if I could help do some decluttering the next day before the Realtor was coming by for the first walk-through. Normally, I am booked at least 2-3 weeks in advance and did have a client that day in a completely different part of Denver, but not until later in the morning, so I arrived at 7 am and did what I could in a few hours.
Once the house was listed, she scheduled a few days for me and my team to do more decluttering and get everything packed or donated. When we got to her mother's room, the emotions literally filled the air we were breathing. But she got through it, and we did everything we could to prepare her for the actual move-out date. And a few days later, a team went to her new home to begin the rather tedious process of unpacking and organizing everything into the spaces available. It's always hard to know what will truly fit because every home really is different...unless you are moving from one apartment to another in the same building or buying the exact same model of your previous home that was constructed by the same builder.
Anyway, it took a significant amount of time over several days, but we got her set up so she could really settle in.
But that is not where this particular story ends because, as is sometimes the case, I develop more than a working relationship with clients. We became friends on Facebook and have continued to exchange text messages and phone calls in the past year. She has been a huge supporter of It's Just Stuff on social media, and I always appreciate how she mocks certain things about herself when it comes to clutter and organizing and tells all of cyberspace how grateful she is that she found me on Thumbtack a few years ago. And I don't say that to boast or brag. I say it because any positive feedback from clients will always motivate me to continue to do what I do despite how mentally and physically challenging it can be at times.
So when Thumbtack reached out to me last month to ask if I had a client that would be willing to share her customer experience for an employee training video, I knew immediately who I could call. And last week, as I sat in front of my computer screen on a Zoom call with the previously mentioned client along with a few Thumbtack managers, I cried as she recounted all of the feelings and emotions she has felt as a result of one simple connection through an online platform like Thumbtack.
I could have contacted dozens of different clients (men and women) but I don't think any of them could have given Thumbtack a clearer picture of how it feels to know that the pros they vet and allow to be on their platform will show up and do the job they were hired to do and then continue to go above and beyond.
This is where I am going to boldly say that I can't imagine getting that kind of response from a man...or at least most men. I've had plenty of male clients who have definitely appreciated the work we do, but they just don't express it as profoundly.
Is it their fault?
Well, it depends.
I did my best to raise my son to be a man who shows compassion and deep respect for others.
Does that then mean he should be perceived as weak by far too many people in this country that still think women are too emotional and men shouldn't show any feelings at all, especially in the business world?
Nope.
Do I still struggle at times when we are having a conversation and he thinks I am too emotional?
Yep.
I love my son and am aware he is on some level fighting against the testosterone running through his body plus has to manage all of the messages still thrown at him by society that he has to constantly prove his "manliness" so I do my best to remember, like me, he's trying his best to navigate all of the societal pressures thrown at him.
So here's where I really need to rant because I will never understand the inequality between men and women.
Why is the very gender that brings every human being into the world not valued as equals to the opposite gender?
Seriously, just because their hormones provide the foundation to be physically stronger should not mean they are mentally or intellectually stronger. But clearly, the lack of spoken words to help communicate with one another for how many centuries or millennia (I admit I do not know and didn't feel the need to Google it to make my point) provided the pathway for men to evolve as superior to women simply based on brute force.
Suffice it to say, I have never been one to buy into the belief that men are more competent because they are physically stronger.
But here we are in March 2025, trying to continue to honor and celebrate all of the fierce, courageous, intelligent and yes, emotional if you don't believe in using the word passionate, women who paved the way for my generation and those that have followed while federal agencies in late January essentially cancelled celebrating "special observances" like Women's History Month to comply with an executive order??? And then just the other day, a proclamation was signed declaring March 2025 Women's History Month as if suddenly it was our current President's idea in the first place???
Truth be told, I am A LOT CONFUSED!
And don't even get me started about what is going to happen should Congress pass the Safeguard American Voter Eligibility (SAVE) Act (H.R.22/S.128). If you believe that this is only about ensuring that immigrants, foreign operatives, and deceased individuals don't get to vote...and you are a woman...WAKE UP!! This is also about suppressing women's ability to vote as a way to make sure that only one political party's agenda will ever matter again.
If the SAVE Act becomes law, I along with 60+ million women in the US, will be required to prove who we say we are if we changed our last name at any point in our lives for any reason.
We already had to prove who we were when any of us got married and decided to take our spouse's last name.
And if, let's say, we got divorced and remarried and decided to take on our new spouse's last name, we had to' jump through ridiculous hoops to change it again.
And if we had the audacity to try to change back to our maiden name so we would not be associated with someone that we no longer want to be identified with, well, even with a birth certificate in hand, we have to pay dearly for that privilege.
We have passports, driver's licenses, and social security cards that show that we did the work, and yet our government is going to make us prove it at every election moving forward???
When I got married for the first time in 1988, I stood in line at the Social Security office in Lower Manhattan and had a panic attack at the thought of giving up the only identity I had from birth until age 26. I literally passed out...not kidding. It's not like I loved my maiden name, but I still appreciated the history behind it. So I dropped the middle name I was given at birth and kept my maiden name as my middle name. Well, technically, it was just the initial "K," but I knew what it stood for and never imagined it would really ever matter to anyone.
When I got married for the second time in 2005, I did take on that husband's last name, but the K remained as part of my newly official legal name as far as the State of Florida and the US government were concerned.
And then I moved to Colorado in 2016 and had to apply for a new driver's license, but there was apparently a new Homeland Security rule that had been put into effect that didn't allow initials on a driver's license anymore. Luckily, I had my birth certificate with me to prove what my maiden name was, and I've officially been Beth Kovinsky Blacker ever since.
Well, that's not entirely true. My passport still says Beth K. Blacker, and I have used it multiple times in the past 8 years. When I make a domestic reservation, I have to enter my name as it appears on my driver's license and when I make an international reservation, I use the name on my passport. No one stops me and questions my identity, and yet that is exactly what the federal government is now going to try to do when it comes time to vote.
So what does any of this have to do with being a professional organizer?
Well, other than the fact that I have my driver's license and passport renewal dates in my Google calendar and I always know where my important documents are to complete the renewal process, really nothing.
This blog is, as I said from the beginning, a cathartic release, but more importantly, it speaks to Ms. McBride's lyrics...
This one's for the girls
Who've ever had a broken heart
Who've wished upon a shooting star
You're beautiful the way you are
This one's for the girls
Who love without holdin' back
Who dream with everything they have
All around the world, yeah
This one's for the girls
We can't let anyone cancel our past, and we can't stop dreaming for our future.
And in the words of another female empowerment song, #letsgogirls .
We have a lot more emotional kicking and screaming to do!
So to all of the women who helped mold me and who have supported me and gave me the strength and courage to create this business so I can support so many women like the one I highlighted above, I thank you from the bottom of my heart not just during the 31 days of March but every day of every month of the year.
Be safe out there and try as hard as hell to remain kind always,
Beth
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