It's no secret that I love to travel.
It's also no secret that I love what I do for a living.
If I can combine both loves into one I am thrilled.
So when two former Colorado residents recently reached out for out-of-state move management help I was elated...until I realized that it would mean being away essentially for 3 weeks during one of my favorite months living in this beautiful place I get to call home. Nevertheless, I forged ahead and began making all of the arrangements. And by arrangements, I mean figuring out all of the trains, planes, automobiles, ferries, Ubers, and buses.
But like the song by The Nightwatchman "The Road I Must Travel" I really felt like it was "the end I cannot see" once I set the plans in motion.
The first client relocated to Marin County, CA a few years ago. We had been close friends the first few years that after moving to Colorado, but unfortunately had a falling out in 2019 and stopped speaking to each other. And then I did the brave thing and reached out last summer when I knew I was going to be in the Bay Area for work. She was a bit skeptical at first regarding my talk about making amends but I knew I needed to give it a shot. Suffice it to say, we put the past behind us and have been enjoying a renewed friendship ever since.
I really was flattered when she asked me to help her, but also a little nervous.
She knew that I was going to be in the SoCal area in mid-June for a family graduation ceremony and figured it would make sense for me to pivot to NoCal to help her immediately after Father's Day weekend.
However, Spending nine days together was a huge commitment for both of us.
What if we couldn't negotiate all of the details?
No worries...I was bound and determined to treat the project like any other.
She was my client first and foremost for the time I was there and I never force my opinions on clients.
I may nudge, guide, and offer options but I never insist that anyone do anything they are not comfortable doing.
At the end of the day...or week as the case may have been...we did just fine.
And seeing this Instagram post while I was there really did hit home for me.
I do believe I was the right person to help her literally and figuratively pack and unpack. I mean, I lightened the mood at one point with an impromptu dance party and weeks later she still tells me that she loves watching this video over and over.
Anyway, this job really did make sense despite how long I was going to be away from clients back in Colorado...until I got a request when I had just gotten to California from the other client now living in Oklahoma to help them unpack just two days after the two weeks I was already going to be away.
Listen, I pivot pretty well and truly wanted to help both clients very much but the logistics were complicated for sure. And to make them even more complicated, my son threw a nice little curve ball at me one week before my departure for California. I was supposed to fly to San Diego where he now lives to see his new home/life for about 24 hours and then we were going to drive up to LA together to partake in the family graduation celebration before I moved on to Marin County.
But he ended up needing to have surgery on the very day I was scheduled to arrive. So I quickly changed my plans to arrive a day earlier and help him on the surgery day.
I had already changed my flights once to accommodate my return from NoCal instead of SoCal along with any parking reservations at the Denver airport and, most importantly, any clients already scheduled here in Colorado but changing my flight again was required yet again...sigh.
Finding a car rental that didn't cost as much as my plane ticket to get from San Diego to the Westwood/UCLA campus area?
Yeah, that was ridiculous but I sucked it up because, well, that's what mothers do.
And then the day of my departure I got a notification from the airlines that my flight was initially delayed 30 minutes...fine whatever.
And then 2 hours...ok I will hang out at the United Club and do some work...still fine whatever.
But 20 minutes later I got word that the flight was canceled and they booked me on a flight that wouldn't have arrived until after midnight.
With my son needing to get to the surgery center by 6 am we decided it really didn't make sense for me to come there after all.
As a mother, even to an adult child, I felt terrible that I wasn't going to be there for him.
But luckily he has a great girlfriend who stepped in and even made sure, at my request, that he had some chicken soup to feed his soul and stomach after the surgery.
So on the minus side, the "road" I was supposed to travel did have a detour and I didn't get to see my son.
But on the plus side, I did get to spend a night in the LA area with a very old friend from my childhood before meeting up with the rest of my family the next day. That really fed my soul especially getting up at 5 am (yep 5 am) and going on a 3 hour walk with her talking about anything and everything.
And the fact that they are an #MGoBlue house???
That really feeds my soul.
By the time I did get to NoCal a few days later, I was ready to rock n roll through the next nine days. And while I don't normally like to move anyone quite the way this particular job unfolded...i.e. hand carrying a lot of stuff from the old to the new house...it was what the client wanted.
Everything really did hum along just fine throughout the week until I got word that my ex-husband's mother had died and I needed to focus some of my attention on my kids. While my former mother-in-law and I may not have been the best of friends through the years, I still respected her as the mother to the man that I had two children with and always wanted them to have the ability to create whatever relationship they wanted with her. I was so fortunate to have amazing grandparents as role models and inspiration and that is exactly what she was for my children.
The last time we saw or even spoke to one another was in 2019 when I was in Tampa for a visit with some friends along with my kids. We were hanging out at my ex-husband's house when she blurted out something to the effect that I really did a good job raising the kids. To say I was speechless doesn't even begin to explain how I felt. She had never acknowledged me as a good mother in any way through the years but I knew that she was just remaining loyal to her son, especially after a divorce so I never expected her to even acknowledge my presence.
Trust me, I had made peace with it long ago.
Also trust me when I say I never hated her.
Truth be told I really appreciated everything she brought to the proverbial family table. She was smart, worldly, and extremely committed to many causes. We were just different in how we approached life in general and that should be ok right?
To each his/her own???
That is what I preach every day to It's Just Stuff clients.
Every client is unique and just because they choose to operate one way doesn't mean it is the wrong way.
But then again look at where we are at as a society. Our differences as a species in general have created more divisiveness than any of us could have ever imagined.
The one thing that my former mother-in-law and never disagreed on?
The happiness and safety of my kids.
So, yes, I was extremely sad to hear the news of her passing, especially for my kids.
And I was even more sad for my son who wasn't able to fly to New York for the funeral because he didn't get medical clearance post surgery.
But my daughter?
I truly believe her grandmother waited for her to arrive from New York and say her last goodbyes before letting go and moving over the Rainbow Bridge.
When my grandmother passed away, my daughter was only 9 months old.
It was the most devastating loss I had experienced to date at the age of 31.
And for my daughter, now 30, her grandmother's death has been her most devastating loss.
There's no doubt the road she as well as my son traveled with their grandmother was a very different one than the road I traveled with her during the 40+ years I knew her.
Nevertheless, watching the funeral via Zoom the last day I was at my client in NoCal and hearing my daughter, as one friend described it, slay the eulogy, made me so proud as a mother. And I am certain her grandmother was somewhere out there listening with even greater pride.
Arriving back to Denver very late that evening after getting diverted to Grand Junction due to a weather delay I was admittedly physically and emotionally drained. The thought of unpacking was rather daunting especially since I had a client early the next morning. And then I realized that leaving two days later again for the clients in Oklahoma meant I could shift some of the things I took to California right into a much smaller carry-on for my next departure thanks to packing cubes.
Side note: If you haven't invested in packing cubes at the very least use different-sized Ziplocs to sort your various clothing items and toiletries. Not only do they contain things better so you aren't searching for your last pair of clean underwear at the end of a trip, but they are space savers if you use them properly.
Meanwhile, upon arriving in Oklahoma City it was 100 degrees and 1000% humidity and that, ladies and gentlemen just isn't my jam. Suffice it to say I never left the house during my 48-hour stay. Then again, I had no intention of doing anything other than helping unpack the contents of the 6000+ sq. ft. home my team and I packed up 16 months earlier when they left Colorado.
The house was still in the final stages of a huge remodeling project making it very hard to put anything away knowing it was all probably going to end up getting covered in yet more construction dust. However, over 100 people were arriving two days after my departure to celebrate my clients' 25th anniversary in the form of a vow renewal ceremony. Despite what was a rather stressful situation, we all maintained a good sense of humor until the last morning I was there and one of the contractors couldn't find dozens of cabinet and drawer pulls that had been carefully chosen and ordered months before.
As I said in one of my #operationelephantseye posts (as in "the corn is as high as an elephant's eye", an homage to the Rodgers and Hammerstein lyrics to "Oh What A Beautiful Morning" which for the record, I didn't see any corn that high), it was a first world problem for sure but still very unsettling and upsetting. After two hours of everyone frantically searching every nook and cranny of the house, one of the sub-contractors who had been there the Friday before reported back to the general contractor that he had inadvertently taken them.
When my client told me I could see the sense of relief but utter exhaustion on her face. I did the only thing I knew to do...I gave her a big hug and went back to the tasks at hand.
A few hours later, they took me to the airport where I immediately ordered a cocktail to shake off not just the stress of the morning but the overall relief of getting through a very long month of nonstop work and I sent them the photo below suggesting they do the same.
Hey, we all have our ways of coping under pressure and then releasing the tension when it is appropriate so no one should ever judge the desire to enjoy a little tequila in the middle of the day. And, in my case, promptly take a little siesta on the very short plane ride home.
When all was said and done, I do wish that the trips could have been a little more spread out but after essentially working the entire month of June without a real day off, I made sure to block my calendar from July 4th-9th. I checked in with my team members who were working on any of those days and responded to any messages that truly couldn't wait but otherwise, I checked out for 6 days. I went hiking, paddleboarding and dancing as well as ate some great food, went to 6 concerts including The Avett Brothers at Red Rocks and declared them one of my Top 10 favorites that I have seen there, maybe even Top 5? I don't know...I've been so fortunate to see so many incredible musicians there in my 8 years living in Colorado so I am not sure I should rank them in any order. If you have never been to a concert there, you must at some point. It is definitely an experience everyone should have at least once in a lifetime.
The "roads" I traveled during my time off were definitely less stressful than the ones I took to/from California and Oklahoma but my heart and soul were fed somewhat the same. I spent time with good humans who respect me and how I show up for them.
One more thing, I do not think I needed to travel to Oklahoma to see what happens to a jar of mayo that had been in storage for 16 months but in case you are curious, here you go...
We didn't have a dance party like I did in NoCal but I did still manage to have a little fun at the jar of mayo's expense...
My clients admitted I was right about not packing food ever again unless it is going to be unpacked immediately upon landing in their next home. Then again, after this past relocation and remodeling experience I don't know if they will ever want to move again. If they do, though, I am going to request it be during a much cooler and less humid time of the year. They did ask me, though, to come back this September for their housewarming party for all of the vendors/contractors who worked on the house over the past 10 months. I think I will need to look up the average temp/humidity there during that month before committing to that trip!!!
Here's to more roads I will no doubt travel both literally and figuratively,
Beth
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